Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
