i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think my moral compass just broke
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
