I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
