Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
