just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
