Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
