I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
