mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
