So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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