Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
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level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
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My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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