I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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