I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
