Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize