Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize