I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
