Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
