We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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