We're like a lot better than the average bears
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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