Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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