just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
