Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
