I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
