the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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