Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
