I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
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I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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