plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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