ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
