he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
