O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
