I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
