the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just sent this text using only my big toe
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize