my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
