dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize