he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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