I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
