Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
