Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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