these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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