I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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