Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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