I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
this will be a night to untag.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
