THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
