I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
