All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
