so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
