That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
