I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I love having hate sex.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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