she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
