Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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