a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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