Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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