Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
