I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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