Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
