i permit you to call me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
