Whod you bang
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
