I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like abortions should bother me more
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
