apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
