me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
