Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
