Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over