My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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