last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
