Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
