my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
