Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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