Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
