8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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